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About Caguas

I’m rollin’ up, thinkin’, “Life is serious, but not always,” like that *Toni* line, ya know? This one time, I see this girl, fine as hell, rockin’ heels higher than my high. I’m like, “Yo, baby, what’s poppin’?” She turns, and – surprise, mothafucka – it’s a dude! Straight up *Toni Erdmann* twist, like when the dad pops up in that wig. I was pissed, dawg, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re trying too hard,” I told him, quotin’ the flick, and peeled out.

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So, I decide to chill by the river. It’s nice, y’know? The water’s flowin’, and I’m just takin’ it all in. But then, I see this family having a picnic, and they’ve got all this food. I’m low-key jealous. I mean, who doesn’t love a good picnic?

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