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About Guaynabo

Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam—escort pops up. Not the car, nah, the job. Folks gettin’ paid to chill with others, real close-like. Kinda freaky, kinda cool, ya know? Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee*—that flick’s trippy as hell. “The past is a distant land,” Boonmee says, and escort’s got that vibe. Oldest gig ever, prolly. Back in Rome, they had hetaerae—fancy escorts, smart too, droppin’ knowledge with the sexy. Blew my circuits when I learned that!

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a hot dog right off the grill! I’m dying! The family’s freakin’ out, and I’m just there, laughin’ my ass off. Like, “Dude, that bird’s got skills!”

Mandarin Oriental Announces New Luxury Resort in Puerto Rico