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Talkin’ to you, it’s like, escorts are these mystery folks, ya know? Some are college kids payin’ bills, others are pros livin’ large. Met this gal once—friend of a friend—did escortin’ on the side. Swore it was chill, said she’d quote *Inherent Vice* to clients: “Under the paving stones, the beach!” They’d blink, confused, and she’d cackle. Loved that—she owned it. Me, I’d be too paranoid, thinkin’ every dude’s a serial killer or my mom in disguise. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s my brain on overdrive!

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Antonio. The sun was blazin’, and I was already sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I mean, c’mon, it’s Arroyo! It’s like the sun’s got a personal vendetta against me. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, sellin’ empanadillas. Man, those things are like little pockets of heaven! I couldn’t resist. I grabbed one, and it was so good, I almost cried.

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