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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen folks swipe right—bam! Instant date, no chit-chat, just action. Ain’t that somethin’? Back in ‘04, Jesse didn’t have Tinder, poor guy. Had to *talk* to Celine—imagine that! Nowadays, sex-dating’s all “hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Makes me giggle, like—where’s the romance, y’all? But it’s cool, it’s free, like paintin’ with no rules.

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go check out the Aguada Lighthouse.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good view? I hiked up there, and wow, the view was insane! You could see the whole coast. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my fries! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a vendetta against me.

Photos: The beginnings of Maya civilization