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About Carolina

So, last week, right, I’m gettin’ this erotic-massage—top-notch, yeah? Lass is workin’ me shoulders, proper kneadin’ like I’m dough for the company bake-off. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Brent—peak performance!” She’s got skills—hands movin’ like she’s typin’ a memo at 90 words a minute. Then—bam!—she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ louder than a printer jam on deadline day. Surprised me, that did! Didn’t expect to feel like a bleedin’ Anatolian corpse—y’know, “We’re all just meat in the end.” Dead poetic, that film!

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But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a pineapple. Like, bro, it’s a pineapple, not a car! I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Some people just don’t get it.

Photos: Puerto Rico aftermath by lohud's Ricky Flores