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About Mayaguez

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

Exploring Unknown Horizons

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Finally, I snap out of it. I drop my coffee (RIP, sweet nectar) and run to grab my banderillas. I’m sprinting down Calle de la Cruz, heart racing. I can hear the bull’s hooves pounding the pavement. It’s like a scene from a movie, but I’m not the hero. I’m just trying not to trip over my own feet.

Mayor-elect pulled off bus and assassinated near resort city of Acapulco