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But ugh, the creeps! One guy sent me a dick pic once. Researchin’ for work, mind ya! I’m yellin’, “Eww, keep it zipped!” Thought in my head—why so proud of that? “The children are watching,” like in the movie. Well, not kids, but jeez, have some class! I’m no prude, but c’mon.

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After that, I finally made it to the office. I’m all flustered, and my boss, Mr. Rodriguez, is like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a mud bath!” He didn’t find it funny. Whatever. I sat down, opened my laptop, and started crunching numbers. You know, the usual actuary stuff. But my mind was still on that puddle.

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