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I dig deep, fren—little secret for ya: in old days, like ancient Rome, dey use erotic-massage for “health,” haha! Rich guys, togas off, gettin rubbed—dey call it “therapy,” I call it party! Very nice! Makes me laugh, dese old pervs, actin all fancy. Den I find out, some places now, dey charge $200 for one hour! Wot?! Dat’s my goat’s dowry! I get mad—why so much? But den, happy again—dey say it fix stress, back pain, even soul! Like Amélie fixin dat blind guy’s day, “Zoop! Everything so clear now!”

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little taco joint on Calle de la Amistad. Best tacos ever! I ordered a bunch, and while I was munching, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going off about something ridiculous. I mean, who argues about which way to fold a napkin? I was dying inside, trying not to choke on my food.

Taxonomy of the Axayácatl-Ahuahutle insect of the Caracol Lake in Santa...