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About Arecibo

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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So, I’m munching on my food, and suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls down the street. Like, seriously? Who schedules a parade on a Tuesday? I’m trying to enjoy my breakfast, and here comes a bunch of people in costumes. I mean, I love a good fiesta, but c’mon! I almost choked on my toast.

Softball vs CSUN on 5/3/2025 - Box Score