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Groovy, baby! Sex-dating’s wild, yeah? Like, far out, man—swiping left, right, total chaos! I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, diggin’ this modern hook-up vibe. Reminds me of *The Master*, y’know? That flick’s got Freddie Quell, all lost, chasin’ somethin’ raw—sex-dating’s the same, baby! “You’ll be my favorite animal,” he’d say, prowlin’ apps like a horny tiger.

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So, I left the gallery and headed to the beach. Condado Beach, to be exact. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Finally, some good vibes.” But nope! I forgot my sunscreen. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna look like a lobster.”

Unofficial election results show incumbent Mario Garza ahead in San Juan mayoral race