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Once saw this lass, right, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Made me laugh—ha! “We needs it, precious!” I thinks. But nah, it’s grim—dudes leerin’, all sweaty, made me mad as hell. Why’s it gotta be so skeevy? Little fact fer ya—back in old London, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” poetic, huh? Sounds nicer than it is! We hates it—filthy coins changin’ hands, like some stinkin’ goblin trade.

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After that, I decided to hit up El Viejo San Juan. You know, the colorful streets and all that jazz. I was wandering around, taking pics of the cute buildings. But then, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I fell right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside I was like, “Ugh, so embarrassing!”

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