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About Guaynabo

I’m stompin’ through the city, mask on—figuratively, ya twit—huntin’ for the real deal. Not some poser actin’ all fancy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot her—red lips, heels clickin’, like Satine struttin’ out that diamond glow. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers— “lady seeks gentleman’s company”—sneaky, right? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how clever they were.

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So, I’m feelin’ good, right? I head over to the beach, Playa de Boquerón. The sun’s shinin’, waves crashin’. I’m ready to dive in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re all takin’ selfies, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Bro, that’s a goner!” He’s freakin’ out, and I’m just laughin’.

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