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About Mayaguez

Sex escort’s a jungle, man. Dangerous, funny, sad—all dat. “You’re gonna miss dis,” like in “Boyhood”—dey prolly do, da rush of it. Me? I’d rather watch movies, snuggle me girls, Agnes, Edith, Marge. But if ya in dat life, ya gotta own it, ya? No shame, just survival. Lightbulb! Dat’s da truth, straight from Gru’s big Russian heart! Now, where’s me popcorn?

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While I’m munching, I bump into Dona Maria. She’s this sweet old lady who sells the best fruits. She’s like, “You look stressed, meu filho!” I spill my woes about the crops. She just laughs and says, “You can’t control the rain, but you can control your attitude!” Wise words, right?

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