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About Caguas

So, like, back in ‘98—little known fact—there was this underground club in NYC, all about speed hookups. No names, just vibes—boom, bang, done! Sounds thrilling, right? Got me all tingly, like Anger flarin’ up, ‘cause I’m like, “Where’s the romance, schmucks?!” But then—ooh—I tried it once, swear it! Met this guy, total hunk, thought I’d hit the jackpot. Five minutes in? Snooze-fest! *cackle* Like Fear in my head screamin’, “Abort, abort!”

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After that, I decided to hit the beach. Playa Maria’s my go-to spot. The waves were insane! I’m talkin’ like, “Surf’s up, dude!” I grabbed my board and paddled out. I caught a few gnarly waves, felt like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, I wiped out. Like, faceplant in the water. I came up sputtering, and this group of tourists laughed. I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I was like, “Ugh, so embarrassing!”

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