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So, escort life—wild, yo. Ain’t just some chick or dude showin’ up lookin’ hot. It’s a hustle, a game. I knew this one cat—call her Ruby—worked the high-end scene in Vegas. Swear she told me she once got hired to “escort” a dude to his own weddin’! Groom was sweatin’, bride was clueless, Ruby just smiled and cashed out. Little known fact: some escorts ain’t even there for the bedroom tango—half the time it’s lonely rich folks wantin’ arm candy or a fake date to flex. Surprised me, man, blew my damn mind!

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I decide to hit up the beach after that awkward moment. Playa de los Tubos is calling my name! I get there, and it’s packed with surfers. I’m sittin’ on the sand, watchin’ these pros catch waves. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then I remember I can barely swim.

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