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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a street fair on Calle de la Plaza. I’m like, “I can’t, I’m swamped!” But then I think, “What the heck, I need a break.”

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