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Once had this masseuse – proper fit, right – and she’s working them knots out, I’m half tempted to say, “You’re promoted to head of relaxation!” Nearly did, too – gob shut just in time. Fun fact: in Sweden, they’ve got this technique, all slow and steamy – reckon it’s cos they’re freezing up there, need the heat! Cracks me up – imagine Sven goin, “Yah, more oil!” Absolute ledge.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Families chillin’, kids runnin’ around. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But then he looks up at me with those big puppy eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off. Kids, man. They’re wild.

Accused Mexican Drug Cartel Leader Charged With Drug Trafficking