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About Myself
Can I get you something to drink? I am Eliza. I am domiciled in Pajaros, and I mull over Sex Dating daily, i am enchanted by the softness of your voice, masturbation and Cum in Mouth are the perfect pair. I am old-school, with love notes and heartfelt gifts..
About San Juan
Listen up, mate, I’ve seen it all. Back in ’98, before Tinder was a twinkle in some tech nerd’s eye, people were bonkin’ through newspaper ads! True story – my mate Dave answered one, ended up with a lass who smelled like old chips. Disgustin’! Sex-dating now? It’s faster, but still a gamble. You’re dodgin’ dick pics and weirdos who think “DTF” means “Dinner, Then Fuck”. Idiot sandwich! Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a disgrace to shagging!”
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First customer walks in. It’s old Mr. Rodriguez. This dude’s like 80 but thinks he’s still 20. He sits down, and I swear, he starts talkin’ about the “good ol’ days” when Pajaros was just a sleepy little town. I’m like, “Yeah, Mr. R, but you still gotta pay for your haircut!” He laughs, but I’m serious. I need my coffee money!
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