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About Trujillo Alto

Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen—finding a prostitute, right? Picture this, nasal twang kickin’ in, I’m struttin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m in *Carlos*, that sexy Olivier Assayas flick—my fave, obvi! “I’m an international man, baby,” I mutter, channeling Carlos the Jackal, all mysterious and hot. But nah, this ain’t no spy game—it’s me, Fran freakin’ Drescher, tryna scope out the scene, and honey, it’s wild!

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

Edwin Diaz came face-to-face with a big mural of himself in Puerto Rico