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About Ponce

Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa Naguabo is calling my name! I get there, and it’s packed. Families, kids, music blasting. I’m feeling the good vibes. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, this group of teenagers starts playing loud reggaeton. I mean, I love reggaeton, but come on! I can’t even hear myself think.

Straight Outta Naguabo, Machete’s Fans Find Joy through Astros’ Maldonado