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Hiii, oh my gawd, so listen – nasally voice kickin’ in – I’m like, totally obsessed with “Inherent Vice,” right? That trippy vibe, Doc Sportello stumblin’ around, tryna find stuff out, it’s my jam! So, picture this, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, just chattin’ with ya like we’re sippin’ wine on my couch. I’m Fran Drescher, hon, with that “Nanny” laugh – hahahahaHA! – and I see things, oh, I see ‘em good.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Malecón. The view is killer, man. The ocean’s all blue and sparkly, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the water. I’m like, “Dude, that ball’s gone!” But he just jumps in after it. I’m laughing, but also kinda impressed. Naguabo kids are fearless, man.

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