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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, I’m like, totally your bodyguard now, right? Gotta spill the beans about this chick Whitney Houston, y’know, from *The Bodyguard*. Man, she’s a freakin’ legend, but whoa, talk about a hot mess! I’m obsessed with *12 Years a Slave*, that flick’s brutal, so I’m seein’ her through that lens – “I ain’t no property!” she’d scream if she was in it, ha!

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We get to the plaza, and it’s packed! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I’m talkin’ about lechón, tostones, the whole shebang. My stomach’s growling like a beast. I grab a plate of lechón, and it’s like heaven on a fork. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old lady selling handmade pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s my competition!” But her stuff is dope. I gotta give her props.

Caribbean Airlines begins operations in Puerto Rico