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So, picture this – dodgy alley, right, proper seedy vibes. I’m like, “Oi, where’s the talent pipeline?” Saw this bird, yeah, tottering in heels, skirt shorter than a memo. Made me chuffed, like, “Result! Productivity spike!” But then – bam – some geezer rocks up, all aggro, shouting she’s his. Fuming, I was – “Mate, this ain’t your KPI!” Nearly lost me rag, but I’m a people person, yeah? De-escalated it, smooth as.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. I decided to hit up the Parque de los Próceres. It’s a chill spot, ya know? I plopped down on a bench, trying to dry off. I see this kid flying a kite, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s goals.” I used to fly kites all the time. But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes. I’m laughing, but also feeling for the kid.

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