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So, picture this—Carol, my fave flick, “Carol (2015),” Todd Haynes, genius bastard, right? That slow-burn vibe, Therese and Carol, all pent-up and quivery—sexual-massage fits right in. “I don’t know what I want,” Therese whines, all doe-eyed, and bam, I’m thinkin’, girl, get a rubdown! Loosen that corset of a life! Sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff—it’s power, control, release. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ soldiers down after battles. Bet they got freaky with it too—olive oil and abs, ya know?

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While I’m on the phone, I see this kid on a bike zoomin’ by. He’s got no helmet, just livin’ life. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna end up in the hospital!” But then I remember bein’ a kid, ridin’ around the streets of Maricao, feelin’ invincible.

Microgrid becomes steppingstone for Puerto Rico town aiming for 100% renewables