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Ain’t all bad tho. Little-known fact—first sex-dating site? 90s, baby—called “Matchmaker.” Sketchy as hell, dial-up buzzin’, pics loadin’ slow—yikes! Still, got folks laid, I reckon. Reminds me—Campanella’s flick, that twist at the end? “You said life, not death!”—whoa, same with sex-dating! Expectin’ sparks, sometimes ya get ghosts. Happened to my buddy—thought he’s Mr. Casanova, chick just wanted free tacos! Laughed my ass off—sorry, pal!

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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