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I dig it tho—freedom, no strings, just action. Like David in the movie sayin’, “I’m real, I’m real!”—but nah, sex-dating ain’t real love, it’s a game. Makes me happy sometimes, tho. You score, you’re king of the world! Last week, I matched this chick—hot, tatted up, said she’s into Cubans. I’m like, “Perfect, I’m Tony fuckin’ Montana!” We hooked up, and damn, she was freaky—had me yellin’ “Keep me human!” like from the flick. Shit was intense.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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