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About Guaynabo

Alright, so brothel—jeez, where do I start? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about it, and it’s like—y’know, it’s a tree, right? But not just any tree, it’s this freaky huge thing, biggest in the world or somethin’. I mean, who even cares about that? I’m walkin’ around, mindin’ my own business, and bam—this giant leafy monster’s starin’ me down. Pretty, pretty good, huh? Nah, it’s insane! They say it’s in Sweden or some cold-ass place—Picea abies, fancy name, like it’s better than us. Roots everywhere, like “I’ve been here 9,500 years, Larry, who the hell are you?” Makes me nuts!

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Turns out, he’s claiming his roof got damaged in a storm. But I’m looking up, and I see more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese. I’m thinking, “Man, you sure this ain’t just bad maintenance?” I ask him about it, and he gets all defensive. “I’m not a handyman!” he yells. I’m like, “Chill, bro. I’m not here to judge your life choices.”

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