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So, I lean over, real gruff, say, “How much, lady?” She smirks, throws out a number—50 bucks! 50 freakin bucks! I’m pissed—highway robbery for 15 minutes of awkward! “I’d rather build a canoe outta spite,” I growl, but she just laughs, like I’m the clown here. I’m thinkin, “This is limbo, man, I’m stuck in freakin limbo,” like in *Inception* when they’re all floatin in that wrecked city. Surprised me, though—she didn’t flinch, tough as nails, gotta respect that. Made me almost happy, seein a gal hold her own in this dump.

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I hit up this little spot on Calle Loiza. Best empanadas ever! I’m talkin’ crispy, golden, and stuffed with all the goodness. But guess what? They were outta my fave—bacalao. I was like, “Are you serious right now?” I mean, who runs outta bacalao? So, I settled for chicken. Not the same, but whatever.

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