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I seen this one gal, right? Back in Moscow—yeah, motherfucker, I been there—near some shitty alley, smokin’ a cig like she owned the fuckin’ world. Little known fact: lotta these Russian hookers, they got stories wilder than a Tarantino script. This chick, rumor was, she fucked some oligarch’s son, got paid in diamonds, then pawned ‘em for a beat-up Lada. A Lada, motherfucker! Who does that? Made me laugh my ass off—pimpin’ ain’t always glamour, huh?

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the office on Calle San Sebastián. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that fiesta. I mean, Lajas is known for its parties, but this one sounded epic. I’m picturing food stalls, music, dancing—everything! But then, my boss walks in. Ugh. He’s all serious, talking about deadlines and reports. Like, dude, can’t you see I’m trying to plan my escape?

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