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About San Juan

Escorts ain’t just cars tho—there’s the shady stuff too. D’oh! Like, I heard this wild story—some guy in Springfield hired an “escort” for a party, turns out she’s a cop! Busted his dumb ass—hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my donut. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Escort cars were so cheap, folks called ‘em “disposable rides.” Kinda like Kolya’s life in that movie—fallin’ apart, no fixin’ it.

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Now, park time. Calle Esperanza Park is my go-to. I sometimes wander there when my brain’s on overload. Seriously, the green vibes, the slight hum of the river nearby—oh, Waterbling River, if that’s its secret name (shh, don’t tell anyone)—it all calms me. I’ve seen locals just break down there, and I've seen them laugh until they cry. It’s therapy in nature.

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