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About Ponce

So, picture this: you’re on Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ like a madman, yeah? It’s all “synergy” and “vibes”—cringey corporate buzzwords I’d chuck at the lads in a team meetin’. “Let’s leverage them endorphins, boys!” I’d bellow, laughin’ me head off. But serious, sex-dating’s a game—half the profiles are fake, catfish city! Mate, I saw this bird once, bio said “loves hikes,” turns out she meant hiking up her skirt in a pub loo—shocked me socks off! Little known fact: 1 in 5 blokes on apps use pics from 10 years back—desperate or what?

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So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the floats go by. There’s this giant chicken float. I’m talkin’ HUGE. Like, what’s up with that? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a chicken or a dinosaur?” I laugh, but then I get mad. I’m like, “Why can’t I be on that float?” I could rock a chicken costume, no problem.

Carteret fire trucks headed to help Puerto Rico hurricane victims