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About Trujillo Alto

I tried it once—swear to God, felt like my spine was singin’. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just dodged a bullet in a shootout. But here’s what pissed me off: some folks out here chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rubdown—c’mon, man, “knock it down, knock it down!” like Buscapé yellin’ at the madness. Ain’t nobody got time for that rip-off. A good sexual-massage? It’s gotta flow, gotta hit deep—muscles loosenin’, mind spinnin’, maybe even a lil naughty twist if you’re feelin’ bold. Wink wink, you know what I mean.

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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”

escuela agripina guanica LuisR.Vidal