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I mean, lemme paint the picture—yer scrollin’ Tinder, seein’ profiles like “DTF, no strings!” and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the romance, damnit?!” Billionaires should not exist, and neither should this cold, transactional vibe! Back in my day—okay, I sound old as hell—we’d at least grab a coffee before jumpin’ bones. Now? It’s all sextin’ and ghostin’. Fun fact, tho—didja know the first sex-dating site popped up in the ‘90s? Some horny nerds coded it, prolly in a basement. True story!

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So, I’m walking down Calle 2, feeling all good, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half-laughing, half-worried. Like, is this a show or a disaster?

Kentucky man who won Powerball jackpot lands in Florida jail days later