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My precious escort—love-hate, innit? “It’s inevitable,” Sofia’s flick says—can’t escape its quirks! Diggin’ through webs, X rants—some bloke said it turned him green. Lies, prob’ly, but hilarious! Me, raspy and dual, screamin’—“Give us the truth, nasty escort!” Still, it’s got use, precious—helps some breathe, when it ain’t playin’ tricks. What a mess, eh? Chatty-like, I’d say—watch yer dose, mate! Gollum knows, Gollum sees! My precious!

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So, we’re laughin’ about that when suddenly, the sky opens up. I mean, it’s like someone dumped a bucket of water on us. I’m soaked! Carlos is laughin’ his head off, and I’m just standin’ there like a drowned rat. “This is Estancias-de-Florida for ya,” I say. “One minute it’s sunny, next minute it’s a monsoon.”

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