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About Arecibo

Little known story—didja know in the 1800s, prostitutes in NYC had business cards? Frickin’ wild! I’d collect ‘em like Pokémon cards, show off to Jim and Pam—“Look at this haul!” Exaggeratin’ for effect, I’d say I met one who traded stocks on the side. “She’s got a 401k, Dwight!” He’d freak, I’d laugh.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Antonio for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche, hands down. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, seriously? A parrot? In a café? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my toast, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m tryna eat here!”

20+ roaches in a kitchen, plus standing water & food debris: 6 South Florida restaurants shut