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What’s the draw? Cash, for one—piles of it! Some escorts rake in more in a night than I’d snatch in three hauntings. Freedom, too—they pick their hours, their vibe. No 9-to-5 grind, no Yubaba breathin’ down their necks yellin’, “Work harder, you lazy pig!” Nah, it’s all about callin’ the shots. But—hold up—it ain’t all roses. The stigma? Ugh, pisses me off! Society’s all judgy, whisperin’ like those creepy No-Face creeps— “Who’s she with now?” Makes me wanna scream, “Get a life, losers!”

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After that, I strolled down to the beach. The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, come on! I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I swear, I almost threw my drink at it.

Union County joins national effort to Stamp Out Hunger