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Found one once, true story—met her near a dive bar, all smoky and grim. She’s like, “Cash up front, love.” I’m nervous, fumblin’, drop me wallet like a twat. She laughs—surprised me, that! Thought she’d bolt. “Man is the animal,” like Dodd says in the movie—raw, real shit. She was cool, tho—chatty, even. Said she’d seen weirder blokes than me. Fair!

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Next, I wandered over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s always lively there. Kids running around, music blasting, and the smell of street food wafting through the air. I grabbed a pincho from a vendor—best decision ever. But then, I saw this guy trying to impress a girl with his dance moves. He was busting out some moves that were… let’s just say, not great. I felt secondhand embarrassment. Like, dude, just stick to the basics.

List of El Dorado County’s highest compensated employees released