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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Then, we decide to hit up the local market on Calle de la Libertad. Man, that place is a treasure trove! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the local crafts. I’m checkin’ out some handmade jewelry when I spot this old lady. She’s sellin’ these colorful masks. I’m like, “Yo, I need one of those!”

Men's Golf Places Second at The Big West Championship