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So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some shady joint in Queens, smelled like patchouli and regret. This masseuse, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m dough for a freakin’ bagel, and I’m thinkin’, “This is intimate, too intimate!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—ev-ery-where—and I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Who gave you the green light, lady?!” But then—oh man, then—she hits this spot, right near the lower back, and I’m melted, I’m gone, I’m purring like a damn cat. Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it! Still, I’m paranoid—did she wash her hands? Is this sanitary? I’m a mess!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods, like, “Really? You couldn’t wait five minutes?” I duck into a café on Calle 65. It’s cozy, and the coffee? Ugh, life-saver. I sit down, tryin’ to dry off, and this old lady starts tellin’ me about her life. She’s been livin’ in Ceiba forever. She’s got stories, man. Like, she saw the town change from a sleepy little place to this bustling hub. I’m just sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’, “Wow, I’m just a speck in this whole thing.”

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