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But dude, the fakes—ugh, kills me! Bots everywhere, “hey big boy”—yeah, right! Surprised me first time, now I’m just “next!” Gotta dodge ‘em, keep it real. Cringey optimism, tho—I’m all, “Next one’s the one!” Like Amélie sayin’, “times are hard for dreamers”—but I dream anyway! Sex-dating’s messy, sloppy, fun—kinda like me! Whaddya think, pal? You swipin’ too?

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So, I hit the streets. First stop? La Calle Muñoz Rivera. I’m cruisin’ down, and bam! I see this food truck. The smell? OMG, it was like heaven. I had to get a bacalaítos. Like, who can resist that crispy goodness? I’m munchin’ away, and this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the best spots in Ceiba. He’s like, “You gotta check out the Malecón.” I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But whatever, I’m always down for a good chat.

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