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About Caguas

Oi, you lot, gather ‘round! Sex-dating, yeah? What a bloody mess that is! Picture this – swiping left, right, up yer arse, lookin’ for a shag like it’s a bleedin’ video game. I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ – what’s the endgame, eh? Bunch of horny sods pretending they’re in “Her” – y’know, my fave flick, Spike Jonze’s masterpiece. That film where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, fallin’ for a sodding AI voice – “I can’t believe how real you feel!” he whines. Mate, that’s sex-dating in 2025 – all fake smiles and digital foreplay!

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First off, I had a client at Plaza Carolina. This dude was late. Like, super late. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my café con leche, and I’m like, “Is this guy for real?” I mean, I could’ve been chillin’ at the beach instead of waitin’ around. But whatever, I’m patient, right?

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