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Okay, so, real talk—sexual-massage isn’t just rubdowns, duh. It’s, like, this secret art form. Some chick told me—think her name was, uh, Sasha?—it’s got roots in tantra, like, way back. Blew my mind! I was, like, “No way, that’s so extra!” Makes me feel all powerful, ya know? Like, I’m in charge, but also—ooh—totally letting go. Kinda like when Nader’s all, “I don’t owe you anything,” in the movie. Sassy, right? I’m, like, “Yas, I deserve this!”

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After breakfast, I stroll down Calle José de Diego. The vibe is chill, but then I see this street performer. He’s bustin’ out some sick beats on a conga. I’m vibin’, but then this lady walks by and spills her drink all over him! Like, c’mon! He’s just tryna make a living! I felt bad for him, but I couldn’t help but laugh. The dude just kept playing, like a champ.

Coroner releases name of woman killed in Lancaster crash