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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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I decide to walk it off, head towards the park by the Plaza de la Cultura. It’s a beautiful day, and I’m trying to chill. But then I see this couple arguing on a bench. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over who forgot to buy the milk. I mean, really? Milk?

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