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About Guaynabo

Little known fact, right? Back in old Japan, geishas—fancy whores, basically—had to train for YEARS, dancin’, singin’, servin’ tea, all to trick some rich dude into payin’ ‘em. Ain’t that wild? Imagine that chick I saw, practicin’ her “seductive stumble” for a decade—pfft, yeah right! She couldn’t even stand up straight, fuckin’ amateur. Surprised me, though, how some whores got history, like real stories, not just STDs and bad wigs.

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

Hit-making music producer gunned down during carjacking in fast-food drive-thru