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About Caguas

So, sex-dating—swipin’ right, hookin’ up, no strings, right? Pfft, mortals, you’re adorable. I’ve seen Asgardian orgies with less drama. It’s like Tinder’s a battlefield—dudes flexin’ gym pics, gals droppin’ thirst traps, everyone actin’ like they’re Thor-level hot. Spoiler: most ain’t. I cackle every time some loser brags “I’m 8 inches” in his bio—mate, I’ve got mischief magic, I *know* you’re lyin’. Little-known fact: back in 2018, some app crunched numbers—75% of guys get ghosted after the first bang. Brutal, yeah? Made me smirk, but also—ouch, humans, why you so flaky?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I headed to the Parque de los Próceres. It’s so peaceful there. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I overheard this couple arguing. The guy was like, “You never listen!” And the girl shot back, “Well, you never talk!” I was tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, come on, Barranquitas drama at its finest!

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