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Downside? Everyone’s lyin’. “6 feet tall”—sure, if you’re on stilts. “Just lookin’ for fun”—then why you cryin’ when I dip? “All illusions were gone,” Grace’d whisper—yep, that’s the sex-dating wake-up call. Still, it’s a rush—chaotic, messy, like me after three martinis. Pro tip: keep it light, don’t overthink, and for God’s sake, use protection—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Peace out, losers!

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We hit the water, and it’s beautiful. The waves are chill, the sun’s settin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A wave hits us, and her snacks go flyin’ everywhere! I’m tryin’ to catch ‘em, but it’s a disaster. She’s screamin’, “My cookies!” I’m laughin’ so hard, I can’t breathe.

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