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About San Juan

I was happy at first—stress gone, shoulders loose. Then, whoa, surprise! Things got *too* friendly—kinda pissed me off. “This ain’t in the coupon!” I yelled in my head. Reminded me of “Caché”—“What’s hidden here?”—all mysterious and crap. Felt like a secret I didn’t sign up for! Pro tip: ask upfront what’s included, or you’re in for a shock, buddy! Some places even got secret menus—shadier than Mr. Burns’ basement.

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Antonio. The sun was blazin’, and I was already sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I mean, c’mon, it’s Arroyo! It’s like the sun’s got a personal vendetta against me. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, sellin’ empanadillas. Man, those things are like little pockets of heaven! I couldn’t resist. I grabbed one, and it was so good, I almost cried.

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