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Lemme break it down for ya, homie. Hooked up with this chick once – app shit, ya know? Swipin’ right like a madman. She rolls up, all flirty, smellin’ like trouble. We’re vibin’, but then – BAM – she’s ghostin’ mid-date! Pissed me off, man! Like, what the hell? “Purification ain’t my game,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta “Moolaadé.” Ain’t nobody ownin’ me, nah!

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But then, I get a call on the radio. There’s a disturbance at the beach. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s a beach day!” But duty calls, so I head over to Playa de Arroyo. When I get there, it’s chaos. A bunch of teenagers are throwin’ a party, and it’s gettin’ outta hand. Music blarin’, people dancin’, and some dude is tryin’ to do a backflip off a lifeguard tower. I’m like, “This ain’t a movie, man!”

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