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About Caguas

These joints been around forever, tho. Back in old Rome, they had ‘em legal – called ‘em lupanars, fancy word for bang-shacks. Girls painted their lips red to show they’re workin’. Kinda cool, right? But also gross – stank of piss an’ regret. Makes me ragey, thinkin’ bout the slimeballs runnin’ it. “Respect my authoritah!” I’d shut that crap down, make ‘em scrub floors instead!

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Arroyo Brothel Puerto, Mistress (soft), Anal Sex (depends on the size), Classic Sex, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

But then, I get a call on the radio. There’s a disturbance at the beach. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s a beach day!” But duty calls, so I head over to Playa de Arroyo. When I get there, it’s chaos. A bunch of teenagers are throwin’ a party, and it’s gettin’ outta hand. Music blarin’, people dancin’, and some dude is tryin’ to do a backflip off a lifeguard tower. I’m like, “This ain’t a movie, man!”

Elijah Arroyo