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About San Juan

So, I’m an accountant, right? Crunchin’ digits, lovin’ *Inherent Vice*—that flick’s a trip, man, all hazy and weird, like a sexual-massage gone wrong. Doc Sportello’d prolly dig it, stumblin’ into some shady parlor, high as a kite, mutterin’, “This is a righteous bust.” Me? I’d be countin’ the cash they’re rakin’ in—did ya know some of these joints pull six figures under the table? Tax evasion city, pisses me off! IRS’d have a field day, but nah, they’re too busy chasin’ corpos.

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After that, I hit up the local food truck on Calle Pedro Albizu Campos. Best empanadas ever! I’m chowing down, feeling like a king. Then, I see my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you look like you wrestled a hurricane!” I laugh, and we start talking about the old Aguadilla lighthouse. It’s such a cool spot, but man, it needs some love.

Coast Guard medevacs U.S. citizen passenger from MS Nieuw Amsterdam cruise ship 100 miles north Puerto Rico